(written 24th January 2012)
I think about the world as you think about horses. You think horses are smart and fast. Often, they can jump well, are friendly. And
sometimes they are aggressive. Each horse has a good feature. Each! And so it is with people. I believe in the good in everyone. Even if there is not much ...
And this is my gift: I can compete in every human love. With each contact. And my job is to heal every unhappy man and woman. But not where I lay my hands to them. I have to try them, lure them from their reserve. But I found someone who cannot seem to heal. A challenge, I think. But I do not know if I'm up to the challenge. If I am not able to heal him, I'm dying. Should I take the risk for someone who has little chance to survive?
At first I thought I could ignore it, but then I felt the need to give him some money. But when I went across the street, I overlooked a truck. He drove too fast. I felt a shock. Then everything went dark.
For the last time, it seemed to me, I felt a sense to measure a person's love. I felt a pang in my heart. I have no love? Mass I ever love my own? Or is it the love of someone else? However, his love was in the end. The person will die. Then I open my eyes again. I'm lying wrapped in a blanket in an ambulance. What has happened? I should be dead after an accident like THIS! Another ambulance is near me. Finally, I cannot restrain my curiosity, though I was shocked. I left the warm blanket and venturing into the cold night. When I came into the vicinity of the ambulance, I touch with my body, the jacket of a doctor. He has a family that loves him very much. I met the doctor in the ambulance. He looked at me and held me tight. I did not feel his love, so I knew that it was his jacket, which I've touched. He talks seriously to me: "Go back into the ambulance!" I looked at him intently. First I did not know what to say. Why should I stay here? "But I am his girlfriend!" The doctor looked at me skeptically. Why did I just say something stupid? I wondered, and hoped that he would not enter into detail on it. Thank God he let me without further words to the person again. I know that the person, who is there now, has saved my life. The challenge, whose love is so low, that he will die. He saved my life. A tear rolls down my cheek. He throws himself in front of a truck, even though he KNOWS that he will die. But I even had a chance to live. And now I have no choice. I had to help him, or we both would die.